Chasing Dodgson



Sleep is elusive. I chase it, hunting it, wait for it to turn and claim me but it never does.
My body is sluggish, it moves slowly, clumsily, automatically. I feel constantly between states, trapped in that space between awake and asleep, so I am neither. My body could sleep. For days on end even. But my mind won't allow it to. It flits from one thought to the next, chasing ideas that disappear as quickly as they came. Nonsensical things, like I slid down Alice's rabbit hole and licked the LSD coated walls on the way down.

Nothing makes any sense. Except him. He's the only thing that ever makes sense. So I cling to that like a drowning person clings to the rock that keeps them from going completely under. It's no lie when I say he saved my life. When I say that he saves it over and over again, every day, simply by existing.


2009-09-01 10:39 a.m.