The God that failed



I superimposed your image upon mine in a cloud of silver nitrate, our faces and

forms, mingling, distorting; a reflection of something beautiful turned heinous.

I pulled the skin from my flesh to show you the bounty contained within, but I never anticipated you turning away with such out right disgust. And now I sit here, alone and exposed waiting for the rot, waiting for salvation, waiting for Death.

I never meant to fall from your graces but I never could conceal the blackness within my being. My thoughts are polluted, corrupted, I dream the dreams of the sinned and foul and I am darker than Ereshkigal herself.

I wonder at the purity you have claimed for your own, whence from it came, for you were once as guilty and dirty faced as I. How is it that you were exalted and I was left to flounder here in the bowels of this make-shift Hell? How is it that you push me from that precipice and walk calmly through the gates of Heaven like a Saint?

Don�t mistake my query for envy. I would rather walk the desolate scape of a fiery Hell than bow to your so called merciful God. For He would have me burn for nothing more than a tainted thought. I seemed to have lost my page, for the you I knew was never so pious or righteous and you stand here now before me judging and deem me unworthy, un holy, un clean.

Did your God abdicate and the reign of Heaven change hands or are you nothing more than a self appointed Pontius Pilate, out to save the world, beginning with my non-salvageable soul?



2004-01-07 8:24 p.m.